Something I Almost Never Had
by Never Ending Read
Summary: One Shot: Following Nathan and Haley during season 2, 2x17 Something I Can Never Have, to be exact. Changing the scene to create a different outcome when Nathan visits Haley on tour with Chris Keller. I hated all the animosity between them and this is their always and forever.


"Just come home with me." Nathan pleaded.

Haley gazed at her husband and saw his hurt and confusion. Her own indecisiveness was running through her head and she didn't know how to answer him right away. They were calling for her and she had a job to do, but this, the conversation she was having with Nathan, was important too.

"Nathan," She breathed as more of an apology than an answer.

"Our marriage, what we have, is over if you say no." Everything from his voice to his expression hardened with the decision he was making for the both of them if Haley didn't deliver the answer he was hoping to hear.

"You're needed on stage Ms. James." The stage manager announced while quickly popping her head into the dressing room and then disappearing once again.

Nathan's eyes cut her sharply at the use of her stage name, but he didn't make any comment toward that particular choice of hers. He had bigger goals today. Haley stood more out of the dressing area than in, ready to dash onto the stage. But with her future hanging, stretching before her, making her feel like this one choice would be the deciding factor of their path for years to come, she took a step away from the stage and closer to Nathan, close enough to take ahold of his hand and thread his fingers with her own.

"Ms. James, we really can't wait any longer."

Haley turned around to address the stage manager without breaking her contact to Nathan. The stage manager looked beyond stressed and Haley knew that if she decided to take her time reclaiming the stage there wasn't anybody there to actually force her otherwise. She hated to do this, the girl had always been so polite to her, but she had to play her musician diva card this one time.

"I have to deal with this first. I'm going to be a few minutes."

"If you make them wait, they won't settle for just one more song."

"We've prepared three more."

The stage manager smiled tightly but left Haley to do what she asked.

"Nathan," Haley began knowing she didn't have time to drag this out. "You're the one who told me, encouraged me, that my music would take me somewhere." Nathan moved to interrupt, but she squeezed his hand and begged for silence with her eyes. Nathan complied and continued to listen to her with a stone expression.

"This tour is important to me and means as much. I want to come home to you,"

Nathan's hopes lifted and then darkened with her next sentence.

"But after the tour."

"No, I'm not going to leave you here with _him._ I need you to come home with me. Haley, I can't do this anymore."

"Nathan, I can't quit. Not in the middle. I have to finish what I've started. Please understand."

"Haley." It was Nathan's turn to breathe her name like an apology.

"Will you wait here for me. Please, Nathan." She looked to him the way she always had. Full of life and determination mixed with love and sincerity. "Let me finish this show and we can talk after." She was already backing away toward the stage, letting her hand disconnect with his as slowly as possible, not waiting for his answer.

The crowds were shouting a combination of "encore" and Haley's name as they demanded her presence back on stage. A part of Haley knew she needed to run back out there, but the other part of her, the part of her that was a wife, wanted her to stay in that room until she and Nathan had worked out the entire situation between them.

"Wait here, please Nathan." And then she was gone, saying hello to the crowd and beginning her last set as if she didn't have the weight of their crumbling marriage holding her back.

Nathan watched her on the stage, comfortable there, as she ever had been with him. He honestly didn't know what to do. Her walking back out on that stage felt as if she had left him all over again and in that moment Nathan didn't know if his heart could take anymore betrayal. He turned to leave, but Haley's voice cut through all of his thoughts as he turned to do so. He knew that if he let himself walk away now he would not only be walking away from Haley, but their marriage as well.

Not able to bring himself to leave the building and not able to watch his wife perform on stage he turned to the interior of the dressing room and waited trying to block out both his thoughts and the sound of the musicians on stage.

They all came charging off the stage at once. Haley and the rest of the band mates. Haley was busy celebrating and congratulating her band mates on a successful show, but she still saw that Nathan had granted her wishes. She was beyond glad that he chose to appear at her show only after she had gotten her own slot. Haley didn't want to think about how Nathan's behavior would be if she had still been singing duets with Chris.

Haley allowed the pats and the hugs from her mates as she always did after a show. They all calmed down enough to notice Nathan standing there in front of them in the small prep area. Haley smiled at Nathan glad he had stayed, but also trying to alleviate his ever darkening mood when one of the performers spoke up before she could.

"You need a pass to be back here."

Nathan's stage pass was clearly hanging on a lanyard around his next for all to see, but that was also a detail the guy in question was choosing to ignore. Before Nathan's temper could flare Haley stepped away from the rest of the stage group and up to Nathan's side turning to face the band.

"Sorry, guys. This is my husband, Nathan. Do you mind if we have a few minutes alone?" The group hesitated, but otherwise made no move to leave or offered no comments. "Please." Haley asked using a voice the band knew well enough not to argue.

They all shuffled off and Haley was once again alone with Nathan, this time without the pressure of the immediate second eavesdropping onto their every word.

Tired from the trip and his absolute lack of progress he had already made with Haley, Nathan was beyond ready to see this conversations to its end one way or another.

"Thank you for staying." Ever the polite Haley.

"It's all or nothing, Haley."

She sighed and sat down on the chair in front of the vanity.

"I want to be your wife Nathan. I do." Haley chewed her bottom lip for a moment and then sprang up from the chair she had just occupied moments before.

Standing directly in front of Nathan Haley proclaimed, "No. I _am_ your wife. But I'm also a singer to. I need your support on this Nathan. Why are you not giving me that when that's all I've ever given you?" She was angry now. Angry with how Nathan was treating this whole thing, making her feel like a child that had disobeyed rather than a wife with a support system guiding her along.

Nathan remembered the moment he found their study bench by the river after their fight right before Haley chose the tour. He remembered how he wanted to give her everything even before she had become his wife and how he had run back to the apartment to tell her that when he found her gone.

"You walked out, Haley. I told you me or the tour and you chose the tour. How can I act like that didn't happen?"

"It was never you or the tour for me Nathan." Her voice was beginning to rise, not in anger but with all of the other emotions building up within her with no other outlet. "You walked out. You gave me that ultimatum and left. I didn't have a chance to tell you," Haley cut herself off. If she didn't get this right she most likely wouldn't get another chance later. She didn't want to spend a whole year trying to fix her relationship with Nathan once she returned home.

"The only reason I'm able to get out on that stage every night and give it my all for people I don't even know is because of you Nathan. You gave me that strength and courage to do this. I won't be able to continue knowing you hate me this way or that you aren't proud of me. I am your wife and I need you both out there and at home."

"I want to believe you."

"Then just believe."

"Chris,"

"He's just my mentor, Nathan. I promise. I was telling you the truth earlier about he and I."

"This is one summer and it's only a few more weeks."

"And then you'll come home?" There was still too much he was sore over, but that couldn't be fixed now. Nathan knew all he could do now was believe that they still had each other. Haley had been right about his support. He needed to give that to her now like she had always done for him. The other doubts and insecurities would work themselves out in time.

"I should go. It's getting late."

Slightly panicked Haley grabbed his arm, "Nathan!"

Nathan pulled her into a tight hug. "A few more weeks, right. I'll see you at home?"

Haley breathed a sigh of relief. "Always."

Nathan quickly brushed her lips with his. This was still Haley's world and despite what they had just agreed, she didn't feel like his wife to him in that room. He gave her a smile and left. On his drive back to Tree Hill Nathan fiddled with his wedding band. After thumping it for a few miles he left it alone to rest on his ring finger. He had dogged something catastrophic today and as the miles stretched further and further between he and Haley once more, the weight of the circlet around his finger felt like the only thing still tethering him to the love of his life.


End file.
